The Power of Representation in Surrogacy

By: Friday Faraday

There is an ideal picture of how our society should be, and it does differ from person to person based on their ideological, political, and personal beliefs. The broad view of that picture is a more harmonious place where the things that divide us — race, gender, sexuality are no longer an issue and everyone has everything that they need in life. No one can disagree that a picturesque future would be lovely, but in order to get to some version of future peace, we need to face the issues of the past and the present.

The shadow of discrimination and bigotry still keeps many of us in the darkness of inequality. While there has been progress, it is sustained in multiple ways, and one very powerful example is representation. It can not be discounted that seeing someone that looks like you or has gone through a similar journey gives you strength, grace, and acknowledgment that your existence and story matter.

The Power of POC Voices

We all live in the age of social media, the ability to connect and share knowledge and experiences on a wide range of topics. So, when it comes to gestational surrogacy there has been a large amount of families from different backgrounds sharing their stories, and shining a light on topics a lot of people are not aware of or are not concerned about, such as infertility when it comes to birthing people of color. Infertility hits birthing people of color at much higher rates than it does white birthing people, and they are less likely to be recommended for fertility treatments, and a lot of that can come from stereotypes when it comes to birthing people of color.

“Many BIPOC women growing up in the United States have heard stereotypes about their own group related to high rates of teenage pregnancy, hyper sexualization, and hyper fertility. Many people do not talk about their experiences which often leaves BIPOC women with the impression that they are alone in this process or that infertility is a reflection of their character and ability to parent” (Infertility and BIPOC).

(Even though this quote is gendered, the overall post it is referenced from focuses on those AFAB, trans men, and non-binary people that have the capacity to give birth.)

With those stereotypes looming over many birthing people of color, it is understandable why they don’t seek medical help as much as their white counterparts. That realization of your voice not being heard, especially on such an important issue, is a familiar reality. That makes the experiences of those that have gone through similar journeys and has elected to share them publicly so very important. Actress Gabrielle Union shared that she experienced numerous miscarriages while trying to have another child before finally deciding on surrogacy, and also the feelings she experienced during surrogacy. Youtube comedian, GloZell Green documented her fertility journey of trying to start a family at the age of 39, deciding to have a baby through surrogacy due to health complications. Infertility doesn’t discriminate, and the fact that racism is ingrained in so many of our institutions places so many birthing people of color in positions where they are not listened to or believed. Seeing the courage of a person that looks like sharing something personal at the minimum has the ability to open up conversations that can lead to something more.

Queer Eye

It’s not a huge leap that for most people when they think about family building, cis straight white couples are often at the forefront of what that family looks like, but a survey done by Family Equality shows that 63% of LGBTQIA2S+ millennials are considering family building by having kids for the first time or having more. In the age of social media, we are seeing more queer families being built through surrogacy.

Tan France, one of the hosts of “Queer Eye” has been very open about starting a family with his husband through a gestational surrogate, and also trying to remove the criticism around surrogacy at the same time, especially when it comes to queer couples. They are not alone in that journey, most recently Rebel Wilson welcomed a daughter through surrogacy.

The normalization of seeing people from the LGBTQIA2S+ community have families encourages others in the community to start the path to exploring all the options available when it comes to family building, and surrogacy has proven to help the dreams of many queer families come true.

The Important Bits

There are so many criticisms that can be connected to social media, and many of them are valid and provoke a conversation that needs to be had, but in that same lane, we see the benefits that can include community building around such issues as infertility and family building when it comes to people of color and the LGBTQIA2S+ community. Representation moves the needle when it comes to addressing the many injustices and levels of racism that are within the medical system, along with the visibility of the multilayered feelings that may arise through a surrogacy journey.

Referenced

“Infertility and Black, Indigenous & People of Color.” American Psychological Association, https://www.apa.org/pi/women/committee/infertility-bipoc. Accessed 10 May 2023.